Archive for September, 2009

i sympathize with dr. suess

Here’s my very first French essay! We’re supposed to write a story based on 2 characters in our textbook, a certain pupil named Hamlet, and his teacher. We have to introduce both characters, introduce a conflict, resolve that conflict in a humorous/ironic/philosophical/political manner. And due to linguistic limitations, we can only use words and phrases that we’ve been taught. Here’s the result, followed by an English translation (with attempts to preserve as much of the French syntax as possible without sacrificing grammar): (more…)


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At the brink of new endeavour, I stand.
Across the sea, beyond, lie distant lands:
They tempt with virgin landscapes, high adventure, great romance;
But will I return rewarded, or with empty hands,

and spirit spent?

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  1. You hear a deeeep low singing voice.
    • 0.001% chance of it being a girl. I don’t want to consider the alternative.
  2. You don’t see the top of a short-haired head over the cubicle wall
    • 20%. It may just be a short guy.
  3. You smell a strong, sweet scent of shampoo
    • 40%. Some guys want to smell nice, too.
  4. You DO see the top of a long-haired head over the cubicle wall
    • 60%. Chance of tall girl > chance of long-haired boy.
  5. You see a girly towel draped over the cubicle wall
    • 80%. Don’t ask me to define “girly”. You’ll know it when you see one.
  6. You come into the toilet and find the shower cubicle occupied; you do your business, go back to dorm to take your shower equipment, take a shower, go back to take your toothbrush etc., brush your teeth, floss, shave, and are about to leave the toilet when you realize that the cubicle is still occupied by the same person.
    • 99.999% !!!

(Disclaimer: Percentages have not been empirically tested.)

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